The impact makes her lurch
Staggering, swaying, trying to recover balance
She hides the cut in this brutal dance
With a thrust she hits back
Proudly, pathetically, showing she is not broken
But the words still burn that were spoken
The frantic need consumes
Pushing, pulling, screaming to have the wound bound up tight
Needing a reason to make it all right
Then he seems to sense her need
Sadly, sincerely, he lays down his apology
If she leaves it there she might be free
The odor of defeat fills the air
Ruthlessly, recklessly, she wants nothing more than to mend
And she knows that he has won again
Thursday, February 4, 2010
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Considering these words were not initially jumping out and sparking any inspiration, this came out great! Good capture of the conflict. I enjoyed your debut piece, hope to see more!
ReplyDeleteHope to see more - this is well written!
ReplyDeleteI am just so happy for the new folks who have shown up to 3WW. You've added a wonderful contribution. Such tension in the words. I also liked the construction.
ReplyDeleteI loved this taut piece!
ReplyDeleteHere is my 3WW post!
Intense...an excellent poem about a very sad situation. You captured it well!
ReplyDeleteAll of the above^ Nice 1 !!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLets try this again and this time, with less typos.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful 1st piece ! So many layers, drawing a reader in. I too, hope to see more.